Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Taking action...give it up, give it up!

On a practical matter, JR also told me the albuterol I was using could cause anxiety and also shaking. I have had jerky limbs, shaky hands and feet for months which the docs said they thought was from weakened muscles from being inactive whilst ill and possibly from a muscle relaxant, tizanadine, they had me on.

So, when I prepared for bed last night, I created a different routine. From the time, JR and I said goodbye on the phone, I have been writing down whatever I was thinking and feeling with reminders that I AM NOT WHAT I THINK. A few minutes later, another girlfriend called. Last time we spoke she was in her own depths of despair and I had been concerned about her. She sounded MUCH better and as we talked about what had improved for her and what I was struggling with, she told me about a bumper sticker she'd seen:

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK!

What a perfect summation of we had been talking about! Earlier in the evening, after talking with JR, I was busy scribbling down my thoughts as they were coming in fast, just as JR pointed out to me. She didn't think I realised just how much time I was spending in the OLD thinking. My hand got tired of writing about them all; I can barely read some of what I wrote last night! What I can read well are things such as

My Consciousness recognises this thinking.
I am not my Thinking!
Broken thinking is false.
Expose thinking through Higher Consciousness.
BE CALM AND RESTING WHILE IN BED.

It was not easy to adhere to those. I had a lot of anxiety and fear. Fear of not using the albuterol and tylenol at night; fear of lack of sleep; fear of lack of energy; fear of a general miasma of ill-feeling/anxiety with no focus. I was even fearing what I might say to my other girlfriend when she called! I was rehearsing what I would say to her because I didn't want to give the negative in my life any energy. BUT that was ridiculous as I soon found out when she said hello. My fears were a result of false thinking. We had a wonderful visit; she helped me and told me of the bumper sticker. THAT stuck in my head!

And, so to bed...next post.:-)

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