I can see it is going to take some practice at keeping this blog going. I started writing on a forum I frequent, again, and realise I have been neglecting this blog. With very kind encouragement from a friend, I am here to continue.

This week has brought much revelation not least of which is I had not been asking my online social network friends for help through a hellish six months. I *thought* they all had too much on their plates already, I know I did, so go figure, right? Well, when I saw my OMT doc this week and burst out crying about panic, anxiety, and depression, we started talking and it hit me...I had not asked my friends for help! They had helped me through so much before, including open heart surgery! I went home that day and sat down to write to them. The responses have been so loving, kind, silly bringing on healing laughter, supportive, etc, I shake my head and wonder that I waited SO long. Shows you where my head has been!

I will write more, I promise. For now, this is what I can muster. It is late afternoon and I have almost passed the 2-5pm time which seems to be my low point for attacks.

My Rog will be home with me this whole weekend...that's the other thing which had thrown me off...he's been gone three weekends in a row and several late nights as they moved the television station he is chief engineer for...so I've been alone plus had no help around the house. we've both had colds and I am still on oxygen during the day until I lose ten more pounds gained from steroids when I had pneumonia back in April. It's been a long haul, but my thoughts are turning more towards what my friends are saying rather than doom and gloom. One friend calls it her "Doom and Gloom" voice and does not deny it or pretend it doesn't exist as that doesn't work. What she does do is say "Thank you for sharing, now move along!" Works for me! Take care dear ones and may blessed beings of light guide your way!