How did I get here. Funny you should ask!

Sometimes it takes a really good friend, someone we really trust, to smack us upside the head and wake us up. I've been moping for over six months from having pneumonia and subsequent side effects from various medicines, etc. My girlfriend pointed out to me, once again, how much time I had been spending on thinking and talking about my doctors, medicines, health or what I saw as lack of health. I knew I was on a vicious cycle, but kept looking outside of myself for answers for what to do about it. JR, my friend, was very firm with me as we talked on the phone last night. I have been feeling much anxiety and some depression, esp. lately. First we realised the anxiety could be caused by the albuteral I no longer needed but was using at night and during the day to calm down my breathing. My lungs were declared fine months ago by all the docs. I was declared well and good months ago. So...what JR helped me with was remembering what I've always known: I AM NOT MY THINKING. My Higher Consciousness recognises that broken thinking, i.e. OLD thinking is FALSE, is BROKEN and had been dominating my life. Every time a little thing would happen, a sleepless night, a hangnail, a slight cough, a sore toe, my mind would immediately take off on a tangent, building it up into far realms of doctors visits, dire pronouncements, medicines, and even, surgery! I didn't get to that state overnight, to be sure. I have had legitimate and major health issues and I think (there's that word, again!) I have had some post surgical, post pneumonia stress disorder, but my Higher Consciousness tells me the Truth, that I am able, well, and need have no fear. That "Right here, Right Now, All is Well, and I am Safe and Sound." That's living in the Now, for me. But, even that has not been enough, lately. So, when I asked JR what to do and after we agreed it would have to come from within, she advised me to write down the thinking and to remember I AM NOT MY THINKING. More in the next post.