Catch-up No. 13 and some - almost there!

Thirteenth Installment Plus! 10 Nov. 2009:

I think I am going to move over to my blog, AlterKATE and let this thread go along, accessible for emergencies, if any, and/or reinforcement. A lot of what I have written here could be part of my blog (and may be, as I may copy and paste some of it)...so the bulk of my writing of recovery will be there from now on.

Thank you all so very, very much. I met with the therapist yesterday. He has a giant, two year old golden retriever named Gus, who stands about 31-32 inches at the top of his head. BIG, quiet, loving Gus. His "dad" plays guitar, just bought a mando, AND once made a dulcimer from a kit! I will get a group going, yet! More on my blog, later, I think, about how things went. It was very interesting...it's all about balance with me..now where have I heard that before!? Ha ha ha!

PLUS:

This is probably a sleep issue, as in I never do well the day after no sleep, but if any of you could send a few thoughts my way tonight, I would really appreciate it. I am feeling anxiety and depression trying to move in.

Rog was called out at 130a last night. I went with him as he thought it would be a problem he could resolve at the station, but had to go up the mountain. Lots of very dark, winding, paved and dirt roads. Takes about an hour to get to the site. It was cold and windy. We finally got to be about 530a. Neither of us is used to that any more!

Go away vague feelings of disquiet.
Go away aura of malaise.
I shall call on my friends,
Take a deep breath
And, blow you out!

Thanks for your support and inspiration, my friends.

AND: 15 Nov. 2009:

Did get a huge heart smile this morning. M-the grandson came over with his mp3 player; the one we gave him for his birthday. I loaded some folk and trad on it, all friends, of course. Imagine how good it felt then when I heard him wailing away at the top of his lungs, "Hey-ho, nobody home, no ..eat..no..." and then, "a sold, a sold, a sold cake, please...tress, a sold cake, apple a pear, plum or ...ree...anything ...TO MAKE US ALL MERRY!" I sang along, so he now knows more of the words. But he announced it was his FAV. except that I haven't loaded Bill O'Shea, yet, which also a fav.:-)

Catch-up - Second Installment

Second Installment 24 Oct. 2009:

Don't know why, but here I am, not a lick of sleep since my head hit the pillow at 1130p, so I gave up, for now at least. Excited about Rog and I having the weekend together, again and all that we will do. My mind keeps trying to go off on a tangent of doom and gloom so I've been busy reining it back in...I think I will have a good nap this morning when Rog is driving us around to our errands!

No tylenol, no albuterol,and no claritin for almost two weeks now and I am getting better sleep, when I get it. This is really the only very l-o-n-g night I've had since giving those up. I am convinced some of the anxiety is from PTSD over the past six months, esp. in dealing with an authoritarian doc with whom I feel I had to fight tooth and nail when he wanted to go off on tangents with a bunch of unnecessary tests when I knew what the problem was and had to prove it to him. When I think of that, I am determined to get a new doctor, but the anxiety then rears up and says...ugh...having to explain everything...get up to speed with a new doc...so much work and what if...then I yell "STOP" and redirect my mind. IF I can give myself some time and take each day then I don't feel so anxious. For those of you who may be very concerned, I have an appt. on Nov. 2nd to see a therapist recommended by the woman doc I go to for OMT. I trust her judgement implicitly, so am looking forward to the appt. Now I am getting sleepy, so maybe I am off to dream.:-) Thanks for listening.